As a creative soul, I am used to finding inspiration in the littlest things, writing about them, painting, singing.. writing about the beauty of life, even if noone gets to read about it, hidden among multiple drafts.
But this time I picked up my notebook, and decided to write about what I actually feel in this moment.
It is time for a creative break.
Something in the past weeks has switched and I found myself in a creative block. What seemed as just a bad day, turned into a couple of frustrating weeks.
“This is supposed to be fun, but why doesn’t it feel that way?”
Being in a creative block, picking up a pen and, at best, one lonely sentence would fill the page, or holding a brush and not one stroke ending up on the canvas, honestly, broke my heart more than any situationship could.
I realized I was not living my truth.
I am used to going with the flow. But this time, the flow feels different. Honey, the flow is flowing away. I tried to find my way back, but the harder I tried, the further I drifted from my art.
However, facing the fact, that I might need to detach for a while, live outside my head for once, or maybe sit down and get to know the current version of myself.. strangely feels freeing. Like slipping out of self-made chains.
Maybe it was holding onto feelings that no longer inspire me. Or maybe it was my strong-headed self trying to prove to myself and the whole world that mamma didn’t raise no quitter. Fear and shame of “giving up” were haunting me.
Well, this is no giving up – we are simply on a break.
One day I’ll return to my drafts, and I’ll come back to my unfinished paintings.
But for now, I am looking forward to a summer full of evenings with my dearest people, reading super cheesy books, lots of Lana Del Rey and occasionally fleeing the city noise. Aligning myself with my truth and opening doors to new inspiration. Living life as a form of art and making space for joy.
Because maybe that’s what art really is, not always creating, but allowing. Allowing life to move through us, to change us, to teach us. And when I do return, I know it won’t be with pressure or a need for perfection.
💘
To All My Muses 